status: recovering != recovering

wow, about 20 days no blogging already!!

what i am doing recently?
haha..
sure i will reply, i am busy doing assignment, mid-term test, and of course....... playing game XD

status: single
single? again??
actually, i never hope my "latest" story ends like this :(
but what can i do?
he hurts me a lot..
do i still need to make myself "down"?
no choice..
i made a decision.. BREAK UP!!
break up != i not love him anymore..
i cannot lie anybody including me that i am still loving him..
as my personal message in my msn stated that..
或许我真的爱上了一个不该爱的人, 但我能怎样呢? 时间啊, 我能对你期待些什么吗?
again, i still need 2 meet him every weekdays..
indeed a sad story.. =(

he is really my 1st love..
i often heard people saying that it's quite hard for us to forget our 1st love..
why??
because he is my first one i falling in love to?
because he is my first one that let me experience the sweet sweet memory?
because he is my first one to do everything first time.. ( don't think the another way round ya!!)

as i read back something that related to him,
my tears will still dropping down..
what i can say here is, actually i don't want all my emotions are controlled by him!!

well, nobody is going to believe he is my 1st love..
am i looking like somebody that already in love/ paktor many time?? lol

write so much thing also no use one la..
everything will be a past..
status NOW: single and maybe still loving him?
status in the future (i don't know when is it, hope it can be asap): single/ in a relationship, sucessful woman?? haha..

GOD, now, i really need 2 say, i NEED you thirstily!!
we, as a human, always ask God for help when we are in trouble..
as we know, God loves us!!
yea, he loves us that no one could ever compare..
even he knows the numbers of our uncountable hairs!!
but.. one sad thing..
what did we do for him??
we did nothing..
but we keep hurting him..
we find him only when we are in trouble, forget him when we gain our happiness..
we are not trusting him that he can help us to solve everything..
we find the another solutions instead of our heavenly father..

i never feel what God feel before this..
until i hurted by someone..
of course we hurt God more than i hurted by someone else..

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p.s != can be defined as "doesn't means"/ "not equal to"
p.s asap = as soon as possible